Specters can lick my shitty clit

[Shotoku]

Did we (and by "we" I mean YOU) at least kill the specter?

[Náriël Telemnar]

Did we (and by "we" I mean YOU) at least kill the specter?

After several folks did the hard work of gaining multitudes of negative levels, I struck Phil down with the power of Torm.

[Brand Nar Gath]

Did we (and by "we" I mean YOU) at least kill the specter?

After several folks did the hard work of gaining multitudes of negative levels, I struck Phil down with the power of Torm.

I'm really glad you finally posted a picture of Torm.   Now i will know what he looks like when you are genuflecting all over him

[Smiling Jack]

Got Touched By a Specter  (to the tune of Abbot and Costello's "Watching the Detectives")

Nice party, not one with a defect
'cepting for dwarfism, they're correct
Good hearts under phony tough-guy 'tudes
Then we came 'cross a specter that's when we all got screwed

We got touched by a specter
Ryan thinks he's cute
We got touched by a specter
We cried shoot [sic], shoot [sic], shoot [sic], shoot [sic]
I ran away without pulling my knife
But he can't be backstabbed 'cause he's got no life

Long shot at that fortitude save
Double bless spell's not enough today
Cut to PCs taking off hit points
Close-up of the cleric as his boots he anoints
The specter grabs you and you loose two levels quick
Why does the GM have to become such a dick
I don't know how much more of this is in store
Should'a kept my character sheet way back from level four

We got touched by a specter
Ryan thinks he's cute
We got touched by a specter
We cried shoot [sic], shoot [sic], shoot [sic], shoot [sic]
I ran away without pulling my knife
But he can't be backstabbed 'cause he's got no life

You think you've done so well until you realize you're in it
Long gone those good old days, give us an owlbear we'll skin it
We got used to hero status though we had it for a minute
The future always looks so bright when you think you're going to win it
Ryan's specter come to knock you back to Earth a couple levels
And no, Todd, it's not like I ran away, I'm still here fighting with the Devil
Yes it takes a brave hin to man up and stay
Shoulda used my little legs to run the fuck away

Just all got touched by a specter
Don't get cute
Just all got touched by a specter
I ran away without pulling my knife
But he can't be backstabbed 'cause he's got no life

Got touched by a specter
Yeah, just all got touched by a specter
Got touched by a specter
Got touched by a specter
(REPEAT AND WATCH LEVELS FADE)

[Nazurahei]

So, is the cleric in town of insufficient level to cast multiple restoration spells?

[Nazurahei]

SYMPATHY FOR MY LEVELS (Sung to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a scribe of wealth and taste
Been adventuring for a long, long year
Leveled up with quite some haste

And I was 'round when the priest of Torm
Lost his lunch in a spray of green
Made damn sure that Waterdeep
Got tidied up all nice and clean

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my plea
But what’s puzzling now
Is how you’ll restore me

I broke into the abandoned tower
Inherited the big tome of death
Ran in fear from a flying dragon
As it breathed its dying breath

I cast my spells
Inhaled noxious smells
When the little gnome’s cloud
Made us sick as hell

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my plea, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling now
Is how you’ll restore me, ah yeah

(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
I watched with fear (whoo whoo)
As a specter grew near (whoo whoo)
Fought for a scant few rounds (whoo whoo)
Before it took me down (whoo whoo)

I shouted out (whoo whoo)
"Who stole all my levels?" (whoo whoo)
And the DM smiled (whoo whoo)
As we fought those devils (whoo whoo)

Let me please introduce myself (whoo whoo)
I'm a scribe of wealth and taste (whoo whoo)
And I rose up six levels (whoo whoo)
Be a shame to see them go to waste (whoo whoo, whoo whoo)

Pleased to meet you (whoo whoo)
Hope you guessed my plea, oh yeah (whoo whoo)
But what's puzzling now (whoo whoo)
Is how you’ll restore me (whoo whoo)

Oh yeah, get down, baby (whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo)

Pleased to meet you (whoo whoo)
Hope you guessed my plea, oh yeah (whoo whoo)
But what's confusing now (whoo whoo)
Is how you’ll restore me, um yeah (whoo whoo)

Now, every spell costs a fortune (whoo whoo)
Cause every priest is a whore (whoo whoo)
I’m just a pitiful level two (whoo whoo)
And I'm in bad need of a restore (whoo whoo)

So if you meet me (whoo whoo)
Have some courtesy (whoo whoo)
Have some sympathy (whoo whoo)
And some taste (whoo whoo)

Use all your well-learned spells (whoo whoo)
Cause right now (whoo whoo)
I’m a sad, sad case (whoo whoo)
Um, yeah (whoo whoo)

Pleased to meet you (whoo whoo)
Hope you guessed my plea (whoo whoo)
Um yeah (whoo whoo)
But what's puzzling now (whoo whoo)
Is who can restore me (whoo whoo)
I mean it (whoo whoo)

Get down
(whoo whoo) (whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo) (whoo whoo)
Woo, who (whoo whoo)
Oh yeah, get on down (whoo whoo)
Oh yeah (whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)

Oh yeah (whoo, whoo)
Tell me baby (whoo whoo)
Where’s my restore (whoo whoo)
Help me, honey (whoo whoo)
Give me a restore (whoo whoo)
Help me, baby (whoo whoo)
Need a restore (whoo whoo)
I tell you one time (whoo whoo)
Can’t say it no more (whoo whoo)
Whoo whoo (whoo whoo)
Whoo whoo (whoo whoo)
Whoo (whoo whoo)
Alright (whoo whoo)
Oh, who who, oh, who who (whoo whoo)
Oh, who who
Oh, yeah (whoo whoo)
Woo, who who (whoo whoo)
Woo, who who (whoo whoo)
Ah yeah, where’s my restore (whoo whoo)

Tell me, baby, (whoo whoo)
Where’s my restore (whoo whoo)
Tell me, sweetie (whoo whoo)
Where’s my restore (whoo whoo)
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
Oh, who, who (whoo whoo)
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
Ah, yeah!
Whoo whoo
Woo Who Who
Whoo whoo

[Náriël Telemnar]

Excellent filk! Hopefully the DM will level us up!

[Nazurahei]

Excellent filk! Hopefully the DM will level us up!

I'll just settle for being leveled up to 6th level again. 

[Brand Nar Gath]

Under Water sung to "Running Water" by The Moody Blues

Hin hurries in
Look and it's gone
The changling of the ghostly eye
The ones that live
The levels that die
If I could have dodged aside
I'd use my arm and with it slay

You fools and I
We must hold on
We must try
To reach through that misty cloud
To try and  goad god's miserable power
If I could only level up see,
I might like to run away and pee

Oh Under water
I wonder: who is this that treats me this way?
We might live to bleed another day
Oh Under water
Don't throw your life away
We live to level another day

Hin hurries in
Blink and it's gone
If only we could slip down that drain
If only unlife was what it seemed.
I know my nuts have shriveled up
When ghostly touched I cry and pray

Oh Under water
I wonder: who is this that treats me this way?
We might live to bleed another day
Oh Under water
Don't throw your life away
We live to level another day
 

[Nazurahei]

Wow. A Moody Blues filk. I may have to respond by filking something by Gentle Giant.

[Smiling Jack]

When I'm Level Four  (to the tune of the Beatles "When I'm Sixty-Four")

Crawling through dungeons, opening doors
Facing demons, some orcs, a drow
Despite my greatest efforts to appear benign
Specter touched me, boy did I whine

Now I can't fight, I'm weak in the knees
And can't unlock a door,
Will you still need me
When I need a key
When I'm level four?

oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oooo
You'll be weaker too, (ah ah ah ah ah)
And if you say the word,
I could stay with you.

I could be handy shining your shoes
At least for most you guys
The top part of the scribe's may be a bit too high
She laces those things up to her thigh!

I don't need much food, don't take up much space
Heck, I sleep in the bottom drawer
Will you still need me
Hold me up to see
When I'm level four?

Every morning I can clean the floorboards
Keep the carpets clean, it's my new career
If I'd just made that save
I'm begging for your mercy
I promise to behave

Say your back's hurting, you just dropped your quill
I'm the guy for you
There's some great advantages to being small
Swear I'll be no trouble at all

Give me an answer, some sign from Torm
Say yes and I'm yours
Will you still need me
Bounce me on your knee,
When I'm level four?

Hin!

[Nazurahei]

Dude, I am laughing my ass off right now. Brilliant!

[Nazurahei]

WHERE HAVE ALL MY GOOD SPELLS GONE (Sung to the tune of “Where Have All the Good Times Gone” by The Kinks)

Well, lived my life and enjoyed the gift of negative energy
Summoned ghouls and fiddled bones and dealt a death or three
Then a Specter done me wrong
Will this condition last for long?
   
CHORUS:
Won't you tell me
Where have all my good spells gone?
Where have all my good spells gone?

I’d just reached level six and even had charms to spare
I had spells to control undead and even some to scare
Well, now I ain’t got squat
Seems my life’s gone to pot

[CHORUS]

Well, yesterday I was deadly, a cold and cunning witch
But when you’ve lost four levels, life is just a bitch
Guess I better head to town
Hope a cleric's still around

[CHORUS]

Used to be I’d give hell to the Deacon and his god
Now I’m praying that his spells aren’t just a fraud
Never trusted his deception
But now I’ll make an exception

[CHORUS]

[Náriël Telemnar]

Restoration (Sung to the tune of "Isolation" by The Mighty Boosh")

All the battles we have fought
All the good that we have wrought
All those levels that they lost
Can be fixed with just the cost
Of Restoration

It’s almost too bad to be true
That all my friends are level two
And they just have a simple need
From this sad plight to be freed
A Restoration

The Specter took away their points
This pain can’t be relieved with joints
If the DM lets us level fast
Then Torm will allow me to cast
A Restoration

[Nazurahei]

MY RESTORATION (Sung to the tune of “My Generation” by the Who)

My levels have been taken d-d-down (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
Cause we fought some undead clown (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
Specter’s touch was awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
Hope I level before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)

CHORUS:
This is my restoration
This is my restoration, baby

Why don't we all r-r-run away (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
And find a p-p-priest to help us t-t-today (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
We’ll need to make a huge d-d-donation (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my r-r-restoration (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)

[Chorus]

Why don't we all r-r-run away (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
And find a p-p-priest to help us t-t-today (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
We’ll need to make a huge d-d-donation (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my r-r-restoration (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)

[Chorus]

My levels have been taken d-d-down (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
Cause we fought some undead clown (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
Specter’s touch was awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)
Hope I level before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my restoration)

[Chorus]