The gauntlet has been thrown down...

[Smiling Jack]

Scorpiation (for the 'Rachnid)  (to the tune of Celtic Frost's "Procreation (of the Wicked)

They are blind
Their tremor-sense is might
This manse has infection
We must stamp it out

Scorpiation of the 'rachnid
Scorpiation of the 'rachnid

Serenades of mass destruction
Bonefiddle + insect's fate = no hope
True dwarves have poison immunity:
Procreation of the hogs and whores

Evidence of infinity
Scorpiation of the 'rachnid
Twist of the known
Scorpiation of the 'rachnid

We must provide these monsters death
"Dumb" and "fight" is what we are
Seems there was a time
I had a bit of wisdom

Scorpiation of the 'rachnid
Scorpiation of the 'rachnid

They crawled from the abyss
We exterminate old homes
Dwarfism in death is
Dwarfism in life

"I've killed this scorpion, because he crawled
I've done it because the
Dwarf wouldn't do it"

Scorpiation of the 'rachnid
Scorpiation of the 'rachnid

Scorpiation!

[Nazurahei]

KRALIG’S RUNNING (Sung to the tune of “Speedy’s Coming” by the Scorpions)

We’re facing a monster
And we’re all in a bind
We rush into the room where it lives
But someone’s lagging behind
Just listen to his clanking
Now hear what he says
He says, "I’m there in a couple of rounds”
“I’ve got mighty short legs"

Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late
Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late

You like John Carter of Mars
You like Conan too
You like the Bloody Nine
And those guys in fantasy books
But you gotta run faster
To be like them
Gotta get into the heart of the fray
Before our foe’s hacked limb-from-limb

Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late
Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late

(Insert Uli Jon Roth shredding guitar solo)

You like John Carter of Mars
You like Conan too
You like the Bloody Nine
And those guys in fantasy books
But you gotta run faster
To be like them
Gotta get into the heart of the fray
Before our foe’s hacked limb-from-limb

Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late
Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late
Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late
Kralig’s running
He’ll get there too late

[Smiling Jack]

Nice one!  And it brings up a point worth mentioning:  Why doesn't the Deacon continually hassle the dwarf about being made large.  He would actually benefit greatly from the process.  And speaking of Paul, wasn't 80's Euro-metal partly his idea?

[Spark]

Yeah, he claimed Crokus.

[Nazurahei]

Yeah, he claimed Crokus.

That would be Krokus.

I can tell you never owned a bullet belt. ;-)

[Náriël Telemnar]

But I have The Scorpions on the brain...

Bleed Out
(naturally to the tune of "Black Out" by The Scorpions but sung by Ryan with a German accent))

I realize that it’s Thursday
But David’s calling me anyway
I’m on the phone, he mentions gore
Sends pix of a blood-covered floor
Don't want to cut out
But my dog might bleed out

Pollux dangles, from the fence
He cannot help it; he’s really dense
That’s how he came to hurt his paw
The fence cut through it like a saw
Don't want to find out
My dog has bled out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

I grab my things, tell Jaime “bye”
No time to chat, I gotta fly
Plenty of time to build some wrath
While my husband takes his bath
Don't want to cut out
But my dog might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out

Don't want to cut out
But might have to shout

Bleed out
Dog really might bleed out!

[Náriël Telemnar]

Yeah, he claimed Crokus.

That would be Krokus.

I can tell you never owned a bullet belt. ;-)

According to Wikipedia:

Origin of band name

The band name "Krokus" evolved from the word for a flower common to the region of southern Europe, the crocus. Early in the spring of 1975, band founder Chris von Rohr observed a field of these flowers while traveling by train. He was returning from L'Ecole des Chefs located in France after an aborted career in the culinary arts, and it was around this time the idea for a Metal band was formed. The band members stated that it was the perfect name, since it features "Rock" right in the middle.

[Smiling Jack]

Nothin' screams "Metal" like a field of sun-kissed flowers!

[Brand Nar Gath]

 

[Nazurahei]

BIG SILLY FIGHTS (Sung to the tune of “Big City Lights” by the Scorpions)

When the monsters are crawling out into our path
Well, there’s seven in the party, so you do the math
We run around like crazy, get within fighting range
It’s not like we’ve ever strategized to make the best of our game

Big silly, big silly fights
We keep on flailing
Big silly, big silly fights

When the action is starting then the half-orc hides
The dwarf is running fast as his stumpy little legs can stride
Wish I could make it through the door, but the bodies are dense
And the mages just rushed forward, so they’ll soon be past tense

Big silly, big silly fights
We keep on flailing
Big silly, big silly fights
Almost failing

There is no foe
That we can't subdue
If we’re going for broke
But there's no chance
It’s gonna be orderly
One messy fight!

Big silly, big silly fights
We keep on flailing
Big silly, big silly fights
Almost failing
Big silly, big silly fights
We keep on flailing
Big silly, big silly fights
Almost failing

[Náriël Telemnar]

It must be my day. I'm at Fantastic Sam's to get the kid a haircut and they are playing "Screaming in the Night" as we walk in!

[Brand Nar Gath]

OH MAN  you are going to be screaming in the night !!

[Nazurahei]

It must be my day. I'm at Fantastic Sam's to get the kid a haircut and they are playing "Screaming in the Night" as we walk in!

Was it followed by "Long Stick Goes Boom?"

[Náriël Telemnar]

It must be my day. I'm at Fantastic Sam's to get the kid a haircut and they are playing "Screaming in the Night" as we walk in!

Was it followed by "Long Stick Goes Boom?"

I wish, but I was not that lucky. I guess it wasn't "Twofer Tuesday".

[Nazurahei]

It must be my day. I'm at Fantastic Sam's to get the kid a haircut and they are playing "Screaming in the Night" as we walk in!

Was it followed by "Long Stick Goes Boom?"

I wish, but I was not that lucky. I guess it wasn't "Twofer Tuesday".

Well, the consolation is there are only five more months to go until September and six until Rocktober.