Time to step up

[the gm with no name]

Okay, I heard a lot of filk talk last night.  Who's going to break the silence?  Or are you all content to have Paul hands-down out-filk you in this campaign?

[Náriël Telemnar]

I think the new deal should be a cumulative 50 XP per filk. First person to filk this week gets 50 XP, second gets 100 and so on. I'll be third level in no time!

[the gm with no name]

Thin Blade for Pirate Boy ( to the tune of "Gold Star for Robot Boy" by Guided by Voices)

If I give you XP
To level in the game that we all play
It'll be ninja day
Thin blade for pirate boy
Well I say no way

If we have throwing stars
And pirate "yaar"s is it something we could take
Would our spirits break?
Thin blade for pirate boy

And its one thing
And its something to give
The pirate boy yeah

If we mix pirate frills
With silent kills against our fragile elf
"Sorry, it hits by itself"
Thin blade for pirate boy

Well then thats my move
Well then thats my move
Well then thats my move
But its one thing
Yeah its something to give
The pirate boy yeah

If I grant this to you
The thin blade and kung-fu that you so want
Will it come back to haunt
Thin blade for pirate boy
Well I say no way

[the gm with no name]

For real?  All this filk talk and nobody filks this weekend?  I know what Zack Galifanakis would say...

Seven pussies.

[the gm with no name]

Seven Filking Pussies (to the tune of "Seven Spanish Angels" by Willie)

They all looked out at each other and said "all of us should filk"
They nodded in agreement, it was a thing they wouldn't bilk
They all knew the end was coming, they said this is my last chance
But they all looked over the website, never gave a second glance

They were seven filking pussies, all afraid to try to rhyme
If you were to ask them later, "Man, I never had the time"
When the bullshit stopped and the threats cleared
It was nonsense talk at most
The seven filking pussies had another empty boast

They looked back and glanced at the votes we had from th e previous games
They looked at all the winners that the previous votes had claimed
They all predict the outcome, before the voting would even begin
If Paul's the only filker, then "let the best man win"

They were seven filking pussies, all afraid to try to rhyme
If you were to ask them later, "Man, I never had the time"
When the bullshit stopped and the threats cleared
It was nonsense talk at most
The seven filking pussies had another empty boast

They were seven filking pussies, all afraid to try to rhyme
If you were to ask them later, "Man, I never had the time"
When the bullshit stopped and the threats cleared
It was nonsense talk at most
The seven filking pussies had another empty boast
Alright Paul help me now

They were seven filking pussies, all afraid to try to rhyme
If you were to ask them later, "Man, I never had the time"
When the bullshit stopped and the threats cleared
It was nonsense talk at most
The seven filking pussies had another empty boast

[Brand Nar Gath]

very very funny.... I guess you are due for 100 xp!  congrats!

[Náriël Telemnar]

Keep smackin' those antifilkers around, you know I won't let you down...

Titus Rivers (to the tune of "Ol' Man River" by Jerome Kern & Oscar Hammerstein)

Titus Rivers, poor Titus Rivers
Went to the desert,
To don his hairshirt
He just kept howlin'
He kept on howlin' alone

He hid from family, hid from Thaddeus
Of his lycanthropy he made no fuss
But Titus Rivers
He just kept howlin’ alone

On his own, he was a fool
Let down his guard and became a ghoul
Brings the heat, you’re fated…
He approaches and you’re desiccated

I rolled too low and missed the melee
But still we prevailed with his head on display
Poor Titus Rivers
He’s no longer howlin’ alone

[Gabriel Cash]

Clerics (to the tune of "People")

Clerics,
Clerics who hate people
Are the angriest people in New Hope

Rax hates these bastards
Gonna turn this town into a mausoleum
And wall you up inside
Then zombify all the children
Corpses

I hate all these people
Dragons Landing is one big turd
There's one asshole,
One great big asshole
Gonna burn down his house
And throw him in a hole
He'll hunger and thirst
Then with my mace I'll crush his skull

Clerics,
Clerics who hate people
Are the angriest people in New Hope

Gotta kill one person
And engage in arson
Burn that church and all the people
Stupid fucking adobe walls
Thaddeus will hunger and thirst
Then with my mace I'll crush his skull

Clerics,
Clerics who hate people
Are the angriest people in the world

[Náriël Telemnar]

Rax, I think you need to learn to channel your aggression in more positive ways.

[Gabriel Cash]

No I need to be higher level so I can do some really negative things. 

[Náriël Telemnar]

I got more for you Brad. I feel your pain...

Used to Filk (to the tune of "Yesterday" by some british guys...)

Used to filk,
All those gaming geeks would rhyme each day.
Now the verses have just gone away.
Oh, I believe we used to filk.

Barren board,
I can hardly read a single chord,
And Brad offered an XP reward,
We used to filk but now we’re bored.

Why they had to go
I don't know, it is spilled milk.
Someone hit the gong
Now I long for when we used to filk.

Used to filk,
Goofy songs about a game we play
Bragging of the monsters we will slay.
Oh, I believe we used to filk.

Why they had to go
I don't know, it is spilled milk.
Dunno what is wrong
But I long for when we used to filk.

Used to filk,
Lampooning Bon Jovi and his ilk.
AM radio was our mother’s milk.
Oh, I believe we used to filk.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm.

[Spark]

Shiv Clearwater (to "Desperado" by y'all's favorite band . . .Les Eagales)

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
You been out trying fencing for so long now
Oh, you're a young one
I know that you want your thinblade
These things that are teasin' you
Can please you some day

Now you lead the Cleric of Wee Jas, boy
He'll beat you if he's able
You know the Cleric of Wee Jas is always your best bet

Now it seems to us, some fine swords
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Shiv Clearwater, oh, you can't be getting no younger
Your face and your acne, they're drivin' from you home
And thinblades, oh thinblaedes well, that's some piece o' workin'
Your prison is walking through this world without one

Don't your rapier get bent during the battle times?
The point won't pierce and the blade wont slash
Its hard to tell the sharp end from the hilt
Windblower is loosin' all his sighs and lows
Ain't it funny how the smell doesn't go away?

Shiv Clearwater, why don't you come to your senses?
Stop buggin' elf barbers, kill the goblins
We may be dyin', but there's a rainbow above us
You better find that damned thinblade, before it's too late

[Náriël Telemnar]

Nice. I love having my character derided in song!

That counts a full half of the crew having filked. Give yourselves half a round of applause!

[Gabriel Cash]

Quick Ben (to the tune of "Ben" by Michael Jackson)

Quick Ben, the two of us need to go get whores
What the fuck are we helping Rivers for?
I know someday you'll pwn
It won't be the monk alone
Don't worry, my friend, you'll see
I've got a healing spell for thee
(I've got a spell for thee)

Quick Ben, you need to ditch that moral code
So we can kill that aging choad
Just turn and look behind
You know what you will find
I've got healing for you, you know
So let's go and kill that schmo
(go and kill that schmo)

We both came here to New Hope
Now we know this place is a fucking joke
We both came here to New Hope
Now we know this place is a fucking joke

Quick Ben, why must you be that lawful way
Some jerks shouldn't live another day
You should see things as I do
Then we could go kill that foo'
Now let's finish off this goblin den
I'm glad I know Quick Ben
(Quick Ben)
Quick Ben

[the gm with no name]

I am so proud of three of you!  Henceforth (I used the word henceforth), I will only filk in Pete, Ryan, or Paul campaigns!

That counts a full half of the crew having filked. Give yourselves half a round of applause!

Who was the .5 filker?