Funky Fresh Filk

[Nyther]

The Last Catholic Nun (to the tune of "The Last Unicorn" by America)

When the last robot flies over the last crumbling snowcat
And the last zombie roars at the great muddy ribbon
In the shadow of Black Rider though she may be old and worn
They will stare unbelieving at the last Catholic nun

When the first breath of Mike through the cold air is icing
And you look to the north and a pale moon is rising
And it seems like all is dying and would leave the world to mourn
In the distance hear the laughter of the last Catholic nun

I'm a saint, I'm a saint

When the nun first has cast and Black Rider is burning
And the children have passed without even a last desperate warning
Then look into the sky where through the clouds a path is torn
Look and see her how she sparkles, its the last Catholic nun

I'm a saint, I'm a saint

[Brand Nar Gath]

go Bea!

[Johnny The Cook]

I will not Bea underfilked:

"Mud Ribbon" (to the tune of "Moon River" with music by Henry Mancini and lyrics by Johnny Mercer)
    
Mud ribbon, north of Santa Fe,
Obstacle in the way, oh no.
Oh, jump soldier, no time to confer,
We gotta be going but going is slow.

Two snowcats in a muddy bog.
The engine starts to clog, I see.
We're just trying to get away--
Keep blue men at bay,
The nun should start to pray,
Mud Ribbon and Bea.

[Brand Nar Gath]

very nice and jolly.  you possibly could fit 'pee' in there with Bea would be even funnier...

[Joe Jack Onassis]

The Bride (to the tune of David Alan Coe's "The Ride")

I was runnin' for dear mercy
From a rider dressed in black
When a nun pulled up beside me
In an antique Cadillac
Well she was dressed like Sally Fields
Half mad and ready to fly
Said Its a long walk to Mudville
Would you like a ride, son?
Well I threw Uma in the backseat, we headed off down the main drag
Uma's sad old moans and painful wimpers comin'out from a black cloth bag
And I noticed the sister had a blood stained gown
As we sped off into the night
And I knew there was something strange about this ride

She said "Sherrif, I can make kids die with the wrath I bring
If they don't want whacks from my bloody axe
All they'll feel is a little sting"
She said "Boy, I just do it cause the children need a holy guide
And if you're feelin' Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride"

They caught up just south of downtown
Sister put the hammer down
She said "you better get that bag off, boy,
We'll need her help to leave this town
As I tightened up the bag's straps
I said "Sister, you don't wanna see"
She said "You don't have to call me Sister, Mr.,
The whole world calls me Bea"

She said "Sherrif, I can make kids die with the wrath I bring
If they don't want whacks from my bloody axe
All they'll feel is a little sting"
She said "Boy, I just do it cause the children need a holy guide
And if you're feelin' Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride"

She said "Sherrif, I can make kids die with the wrath I bring
If they don't want whacks from my bloody axe
All they'll feel is a little sting"
She said "Boy, I just do it cause the children need a holy guide
And if you're feelin' Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride"
If you feel Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride

[Nyther]

I...I'm so...    It's BEAutiful!

[Akker Redd]

Wow, excellent flik.   Pure pottery or I don't know what pottery is.

[Oprah]

GOod filk. An extra 100 xp to the poet.

[hoa nguyen]

The Bride (to the tune of David Alan Coe's "The Ride")

I was runnin' for dear mercy
From a rider dressed in black
When a nun pulled up beside me
In an antique Cadillac
Well she was dressed like Sally Fields
Half mad and ready to fly
Said Its a long walk to Mudville
Would you like a ride, son?
Well I threw Uma in the backseat, we headed off down the main drag
Uma's sad old moans and painful wimpers comin'out from a black cloth bag
And I noticed the sister had a blood stained gown
As we sped off into the night
And I knew there was something strange about this ride

She said "Sherrif, I can make kids die with the wrath I bring
If they don't want whacks from my bloody axe
All they'll feel is a little sting"
She said "Boy, I just do it cause the children need a holy guide
And if you're feelin' Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride"

They caught up just south of downtown
Sister put the hammer down
She said "you better get that bag off, boy,
We'll need her help to leave this town
As I tightened up the bag's straps
I said "Sister, you don't wanna see"
She said "You don't have to call me Sister, Mr.,
The whole world calls me Bea"

She said "Sherrif, I can make kids die with the wrath I bring
If they don't want whacks from my bloody axe
All they'll feel is a little sting"
She said "Boy, I just do it cause the children need a holy guide
And if you're feelin' Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride"

She said "Sherrif, I can make kids die with the wrath I bring
If they don't want whacks from my bloody axe
All they'll feel is a little sting"
She said "Boy, I just do it cause the children need a holy guide
And if you're feelin' Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride"
If you feel Hellbound let me warn ya I'm the good Lord's bride

This may be the most excellent filk of all time. I'm impressed.

[Nyther]

SLAMFORD!!!  YOU'RE BACK!!!!!   

[hoa nguyen]

SLAMFORD!!!  YOU'RE BACK!!!!!   

Yes. Yes, I am.