A call for post-apocalyptic filks

[Johnny The Cook]

There was a brief period wherein Rob Halford was kinda hot.

Oh we all know you would be riding Rob's hog in a New York minute if you had the chance.

[Oprah]

I Love it!!!

Oprah is so proud of all the young beautiful people singing....

keep it up,ya'll.

[Joe Jack Onassis]

Loving (to the tune of Pere Ubu's "Laughing")

I say my baby, I say my baby
We can live n the empty shelter of this  life
I say my baby, I say my baby
I can place in your warm, warm oven a new bun
I say my baby, I say my baby
The world has changed and we're young
I say my baby, I say my baby
If a zombie comes I'll shoot him with my gun

My baby says, my baby says
"Crazy redneck just another white deputy punk"
My baby says, my baby says
"Keep it up and I just might shoot you in your junk"
My baby says, my baby says
"your daddy gave you just one bullet for your gun"
My baby says, my baby says...
But she sure don't mean it
It's love

[Akker Redd]

Oh that's funny 

[Brand Nar Gath]

Don't Play that Song (You Lied) by Aretha Franklin
as
Don't Play that Song (Buck should have died)


Don't play that song for me
Cause it brings back memories
The days that I once knew
The day that I spent with you

Oh no, don't let em stomp you down (oh no)
shrapnel fills my heart with pain (yeah)
Please stop it right away
Cause I remember just when he screamed

He said dammit(dammit) and I know that he died
(Oh, died like a squashed bee)
You know that you died
(Oh, he died like a squished flea)
You know that you died
Died (you died) you di-i-ied (But Rene let you free)

Hey BuckMinster, don't play it no more
Don't play it no more
I can't stand it
Don't play it no more (no more)
No no(no more) no more
Whoa, whoa (can't stand it)

I remember our first mistake
standing around outside with our lives at stake
(Ooooooooo)
Oh Buck who caressed my engine block and walked away?
(Ooooooooowhoop whoop)

I used to be a beauty queen
(Ooooooooo whoop whoop)
and then that blast of radioactive steam...
Buck was there, and then all flat
crushed beneath robo-boy's size seventeens

Baby, baby you died (Oh did I need a you)
You-ooo-hoo-hoo you died (darling I love you)
You know that you died (you died)
smushed horr-i-bly
Died (you died) died (you died) Died
(But Rene let you free)

[Oprah]

yes yes... my dear Uma. I did indeed let ol' Buck live.     He had the good fortune of being the first to meet the massive damage rule. Damage equaling your constitution = death. Buck used up your one free Anti-death coupon. Beware.. Buahh haha ahahahaha !!!!!

Bitches.

[Akker Redd]

Made a new character, please kill me.

[hoa nguyen]

yes yes... my dear Uma. I did indeed let ol' Buck live.     He had the good fortune of being the first to meet the massive damage rule. Damage equaling your constitution = death. Buck used up your one free Anti-death coupon. Beware.. Buahh haha ahahahaha !!!!!

Bitches.

Damage equaling your constitution = death? Or does it = unconsciousness/dying? Major distinction there. Please clarify.

[Johnny The Cook]

How about damage equal to your arm's constitution...does it equal arm death?

[Akker Redd]

Apparently some damage kills you, some turns you into superhuman zombies, and some gets you cool cybernetic enhancements, it's a real crap shoot.

[Brand Nar Gath]

just as long as massive penis damage equals massive vulva damage, I don't want you long armed one snakes getttin away with nuthin.

[Johnny The Cook]

just as long as massive penis damage equals massive vulva damage, I don't want you long armed one snakes getttin away with nuthin.

Don't worry Uma. You're not Johnny's type. He prefers a woman with more meat on her bones...and skin.