Filk Holiday is Over!

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

Vampires on the Prowl (to the tune of "Sunshine of Your Love" by Cream)

It’s getting near dawn,
When sun opens baleful eyes.
I’ll soon drop below the earth,
Getting burned by the sun’s unwise.
I’ll hibernate through the day,
I’ll slumber until the sun starts falling.

I’ve been entombed so long
I need to be going
With the vampires on the prowl.

Looking for some blood,
I hear your blood pulsing through.
Yes, I’ll taste your sweet blood,
When I sneak up and attack you.
I’ll siphon you darling now,
Ill stay with you till your blood’s all dried up.

I’ve been entombed so long
I need to be going
With the vampires on the prowl.

Looking for some food,
I hear your blood pulsing through.
Yes, I’m sorry but you’re screwed,
I’ll just sneak up and attack you.
I’ll siphon my victim now,
Ill stay with you till your blood’s all dried up.

I’ve been buried so long
I’ve been interred so long
I’ve been entombed so long
I need to be going
With the vampires on the prowl.

[Dario Fulci]

PHOTOGRAPHS (Sung to the tune of "Photograph" by Ringo Starr)

Everytime I see blood spill
It reminds me of a certain thrill I used to know
But all I've got are these photographs
And further up the river we've got to go

I thought I'd make it
Til we saw humans again
But I can't take it
Unless I can find a way to cause them pain

I can't get used not to killing kids
I'm feeling down, yes I've hit the skids over this
I want them here to torture and maim
Werewolves don't give me the same kind of bliss

I guess I can make it on other creatures' blood
But if I can't torture humans, I'm gonna feel like crud

I want some human flesh to slice
To hear their cries would be so nice as we travel along
I just feel better causing pain
And I just can't feel ashamed or that it's somehow wrong

Everytime I see blood spill
It reminds me of the thrill I used to know
But all I've got are these photographs
And I further up the river we've got to go

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

Poignant.

Sadly, our GM is too busy drawing nekkid dudes to filk us a clue.

[Luigi Mario]

Where is tonight's game? Casa de Ryan?

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

Popping off a quick one:

Wendigo Kills Tonight (to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens)

We-de-de-de, de-de-de-de-de de, death-is-on-the-way (drum fill)
We-de-de-de, de-de-de-de-de de, death-is-on-the-way

A wendigo, a-wendigo a-wendigo, a wendigo
A wendigo, a-wendigo a-wendigo, a wendigo
A wendigo, a-wendigo a-wendigo, a wendigo
A wendigo, a-wendigo a-wendigo, a wendigo

In the jungle the scary jungle wendigo kills tonight
In the jungle the deadly jungle wendigo kills tonight

(repeat wendigo chorus)

Those poor vampires, those hapless vampires, wendigo kills tonight
Those poor vampires, those guileless vampires, wendigo kills tonight

(repeat wendigo chorus)

Hush my darling, die die my darling. Wendigo kills tonight.
Hush my darling, you’ll die my darling. Wendigo kills tonight

(repeat wendigo chorus with vocal ad lib)

[JC Guisada]

Wendigo Warrior (to the tune of the Dead Kennedy's "Winnebago Warrior")

Off to save the village kids
Black Crow tells us where to go
Wendigo-o Warrior

Sure they look like little boys
But your soul they will destroy
Wendigo-o Warrior

Wendigo-o Warrior
Dead as old John Wayne
Wendigo-o Warrior
Brave and bold Vam-pioneer

Voodoo preist bring up the back
It's too bad he can't do jack
Wendigo-o Warrior

Seems we should have all stayed put
Now the reverend's lost a foot
Adele, quick the polaroid!

Wendigo-o Warrior
Dead as old John Wayne
Wendigo-o Warrior
Brave and bold Vam-pioneer

Heroes come to save the day
Slaves think: "now we'll get away"
Hurry Kal, throw some grenades

But the cavern it still stands
Manny has another plan
Now we're crushed by rock and sand

Wendigo-o Warrior
Dead as old John Wayne
Wendigo-o Warrior
Brave and bold Vam-pioneer

Yeeeeeeeee-hah!

[JC Guisada]

Buried Alive to Death (to the tune of ACDC's "Beatin Around the Bush")

Wendigo hands and wendigo claws
Keep me away from them wendigo jaws
How'd you expect me to survive
Lucky to get outta here alive
Exit I got my eye on you
Time to bid these wendigos adieu
Stop your fighting and say goodbye
These bad mothers gonna make us die

Fled that fight, ran with all our might
End of the tunnel in sight
Buried alive to death

If it was up to me I'd have stayed in bed
But all you other people pushed on instead
Guess that we should have all stayed put
Now the good reverend's only got one foot
Didn't even get those villagers saved
Came around the corner found 'em all enslaved
Someone thought it wise to blow them all to hell
That was right before the whole ceiling fell

Fled that fight, ran with all our might
End of the tunnel in sight
Buried alive to death

Worst rescue party I've ever known
Next time we should just stay at home
Bad voodoo vampire was whipping us good
Didn't turn the tables like we thought we would
Manny went and brought the whole cavern down
Worst massacre since old Georgetown
Maybe should tried to call for a cease-fire
Now I gotta make me a new vampire

Fled that fight, ran with all our might
End of the tunnel in sight
Buried alive to death

[Esteban the Deathmage]

Digging in the Dirt (sung to the tune of Digging in the Dirt by Peter Gabriel)

Something Impy, a trifle hasty
trigger happy with his guns
brought down the ceiling, forever sealing
now entombed beneath the sun

[Chorus:]
This time he's gone too far [x3]
I told you [x4]
This time he's gone too far [x3]
I told you [x4]

Don't run back
Just fight the God
It's too late
you've run so roughshod
don't plan nothing
shoot your guns where you will
the price you pay
is only too real

Digging in the dirt
where you'll be, you'll need support
you're digging in the dirt
and when you emerge you will get hurt
in some very strange places you'll get hurt

the more you jump, the less you'll land
as you fight these Gods you seem so blind
The magic's in your head, not the bombs you throw
You'll feel it in your deaths, that's the way it goes

[Chorus]

Digging in the dirt
where you'll be, you'll need support
you're digging in the dirt
and when you emerge you will get hurt
in some very strange places you'll get hurt

Digging in the dirt
To find the places you'll get hurt
[x7]

[Jean-Sebastian Clement]

"I Don't Know How to Play Him" (To the tune of "I Don't Know How to Love Him" sung by Yvonne Elliman in Jesus Cristo, Superstar by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber)

I don't know how to play him.
What to say when I talk for him.
He’s just so French, such a mensch.
In these past few games, Rev has lost a foot,
I should have just stayed put.

I don't know how to speak French.
I don't what caused that stench.
It’s a fart. A gassy fart.
And I've smelled so many farts before,
Gaming with you dudes,
It’s just one more.

Should I go for laughs?
Should I play him straight?
Should I learn some French,
Or is it too late?
But still I’m back to Le Voleur.
I just can’t relate.

Don't you think he's rather funny,
With his crazy foreign accent.
Corso sounded like Borat,
The Rev, so black, he’s smokin’ crack,
Crazy as a loon.
I’ll change my tune.

And now I’m back to Le Voleur.
How did that happen?
The deranged whim of Jaime,
And we’re tossed. We’re transfigured.
How will I cope? Just smoke some dope.
I’ll read my sheet. Think Jean Reno.
I wouldn't want to whine.
Before my time.
So I’m resigned.
To drink some wine.